To the person that asked "Why cant I understand the word when I read it..."

If you will listen to the series found here...

http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1034

it will answer your question. hear is the short version

mark chapter 4 says...

14The sower soweth the word.

26And he said, So is the kingdom of God, as if a man should cast seed into the ground; 

 27And should sleep, and rise night and day, and the seed should spring and grow up, he knoweth not how.

 28For the earth bringeth forth fruit of herself; first the blade, then the ear, after that the full corn in the ear.

 29But when the fruit is brought forth, immediately he putteth in the sickle, because the harvest is come.

verse 14 says the sower sowes the word. so everyone should agree he is not talking about farming here. He is talking about how the word of God works. in these verses  the word of god is the seed and our heart is the soil that it must be planted in, and just as if you planted an actual seed in the ground you wouldn't go out the next day and expect a tree to have grown overnight. the word of God is the same way you have to let it germinate in your heart (germination is meditating on the word) verse 27 is talking about the word of God and how it will just naturally produce. Just like you dont know how a natural seed produces, but it does the word of God will do the same and verse 28 talks about how there is stages of growth and just as the earth brings forth fruit of herself so will the word of God. i have tryed to shorten this down to just give you and idea if you will listen to the messages you will get better understanding of why you are in the position you are in everything on the site is free and will take you a long way in a very short time.